Identification with the Agressor

🎙️ Identification with the Aggressor: When Your Child Turns Against You

Is your child acting aggressively, violently, or with hostility after you’ve left an abusive relationship? You're not alone—and there’s a psychological explanation that might help you make sense of it.

In this episode, we explore Identification with the Aggressor—a defense mechanism in which children unconsciously adopt the behaviors of an abusive or manipulative parent. We break down how and why this happens, especially in the context of high-conflict custody battles and domestic violence.

In this episode, we cover:

• What is “Identification with the Aggressor”
• How children can be used as tools by controlling ex-partners
• Challenges with the family court when one parent refuses help
• Strategies for talking to your child without escalating conflict
• How to avoid being mischaracterized as the “toxic” parent
• Practical tips for documentation

Whether you’re a parent, survivor, or professional working with families in crisis, this conversation offers clarity, compassion, and actionable steps.

💡 Want to share your story or be a guest on the podcast?

Visit www.SchoolOfCustody.com